Please Note: Due to the COVID-19 virus, I am offering Telehealth video sessions via SimplePractice. If interested, please provide your email address. Phone sessions are also available.
Couples Therapy Can Help Create Positive, Lasting Change… For Your Relationship and For You!
Are you looking for a therapist because you’re in a relationship that feels stuck?
Few things are more frustrating and painful than not being able to communicate with the person you love most.
When communications with your partner don’t lead to understanding, don’t make you feel better, don’t make you feel loved, the natural reaction over time is to stop trying. Unfortunately, this only leads to feeling more disconnected and lonely, which is hardly the reason any of us gets involved in a relationship.
Although we’re all essentially alone in the world, we long to be connected to others. Our relationships and how we communicate with others are two of the most important things in our lives. They, in a very real sense, define who we are.
A healthy relationship can provide a foundation that allows you and your partner to grow and flourish in every way. And having someone we know we can count on increases not only our sense of trust and safety, but also our intimacy and joy.
Of all the reasons individuals come to me for help, a large percentage relate directly to interpersonal relationship problems, including: marital conflict, intimacy concerns, and family communication issues.
It’s Never Too Late, or Too Early, To Get Help
Couples often seek counseling with a marriage and family therapist to reduce conflict or increase intimacy by addressing communication patterns, developmental concerns, and lifestyle issues.
Unfortunately, about 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. And 20% of those divorces occur in the first two years of marriage. Many divorces occur partly because couples are not prepared for marriage. It’s not uncommon for couples to spend more time preparing for their wedding ceremony than for their marital relationship. This is the reason pre-wedding counseling is so important.
Research indicates that the earlier a couple identifies their strengths and differences, and learns practical talking, listening, and conflict-resolving skills to deal collaboratively with life’s issues, the better their chances are for building a satisfying, viable, and lasting relationship.
Competent therapists do not offer relationship solutions or take sides. They help couples work out solutions according to the individual values and lifestyles of the relationship partners.
Seeking professional assistance is a sign of courage and willingness to deal with life’s many challenges, and I congratulate you on taking the important first step of looking for help.
No matter what situation your relationship is in, it’s never too early, or too late, to seek couples therapy. The right time is different for every couple and rarely does a couple seek counseling at the “right” time.
Upon completing therapy, couples often report feeling more comfortable and knowing more about their partner’s pain and their respective process. Hearing these things, and the positive feelings they convey, are reasons I enjoy the work I do.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
My primary approach to couples therapy is a technique known as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
EFT presents a comprehensive theory of adult relationships and attachment along with a process for healing distressed relationships.
Emotionally Focused Therapy recognizes that relationship distress results from a perceived threat to basic adult needs for safety, security, and closeness in intimate relationships. EFT goes far beyond teaching communication skills for couples; it helps couples listen to each other with their hearts.
Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed about 20 years ago by Dr. Susan Johnson and Dr. Leslie Greenberg of the University of Ottawa. EFT is a short-term (8-20 sessions), step-by-step approach to de-escalating couples conflict and fostering new ways of interacting that promote healthy relationships.
Emotionally Focused Therapy has become one of the most researched and empirically-validated approaches in the field of couples therapy. EFT has demonstrated clinically significant effects and research studies have indicated that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements in their relationships as a result.
EFT has proven effective with countless couples in a multitude of settings, including: pre-marital couples, married couples, and families with members suffering from disorders such as depression, post traumatic stress, and chronic illness.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy, couples learn to create a secure bond, change negative patterns, and heal old relationship disappointments and wounds.
EFT incorporates behavioral and inter-psychic theories to help couples achieve the relationship they desire. In other words, EFT addresses what is going on “within” each partner as well as “between” each partner.
Emotionally Focused Therapy addresses the attachment styles of each person in a relationship, as well as increases the understanding of how underlying fears and motivations affect communication and relationship intimacy.
It is called “emotionally focused” because it reformulates the emotions that are the “music” of a relationship, allowing couples to break negative cycles and create a new “dance” in their lives.
Emotionally Focused Therapy has proven effective in helping couples resolve relationship wounds, including: affairs, significant disappointments, and other perceived failures (such as a partner feeling abandoned during a time of great need like a major illness or the death of a parent).
Take The First Step!
No matter how bad the current situation you’re facing seems… No matter what issues you and your partner face… There is always room for personal and spiritual growth and change.
Chances are you and your partner still love each other and are willing to work together to improve your relationship. The best years of your life together may still be ahead of you.
If you’d like your relationship to be a safe haven and a healing environment for your partner and yourself… If you want to feel truly connected with your partner and deeply understood by him or her… Please contact me and schedule a free phone consultation at 650-348-0755 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to speaking with you.